Memorized
by high-off-music
Summary: Just before he disappeared, Axel told me never to forget him. As if that could ever happen. He was my best friend, the only person I had ever loved, he was my other half. But he reminded me anyways. "Don't forget about me, got it memorized?" AkuRoku
1. Losing You

My first Axel/Roxas fanfic, hope you enjoy Please Review!

When I was twelve years old, my best friend Axel disappeared. Now, when I say disappeared, I'm not saying he was abducted or ran away or any of the kinds of things that are normally associated with child disappearances. I mean disappear in the literal sense, as in right before my very eyes Axel vanished, as if he were just a dream and I had suddenly woke up. It had been a Friday, June 11th to be exact, and Axel had convinced me to skip our last class, math, to go down to the lake and have a picnic with him. I agreed even though his idea of a picnic was sitting on his jacket and splitting his ham sandwich and a bag of potato chips, but we had fun regardless.

"See, aren't you glad you got out of boring old math to be here with little old me?" Axel flashed me a smile and as the sunlight caught in his emerald eyes I internally swooned. I had liked Axel for about a year now, and though I tried not to his naturally flirty personality didn't really help.

"I'm glad I got out of math, but hanging out with you, eh, I'm not super glad about that." I flashed him a smile of my own to let him know I was joking and after he pretended to be hurt we both laughed and finished off the last of our picnic lunch.

It had been getting late and I started to stand up when Axel complained he felt weird. I looked over and saw him staring down at the ground in terror, and when I looked down I let out a gasp of surprise. Out of the ground came black stands of what seemed like pure darkness. They shot up quickly and came together above Axel's head before cascading down around him forming a cage around his entire body. He looked up at me in a panic, but with a hint of something in his eyes that told me he somehow seemed to know this was going to happen.

"Roxas please don't forget about me, I'll find you again somehow, I promise…" He whispered as the strands formed together covering his face, as I stood there frozen with fear and confusion. Soon, the strands formed so thick around Axel I couldn't see him, and in a flash the strands were pulled back into the ground from where they came. My voice caught in my throat as I stared at the now empty place where my friend had been just moments before. And just like that I was staring straight through where Axel had just been sitting. He was gone.

After that all I remember was stumbling disbelieving back towards home, in complete shock. My mother scolded me for being home late, but when she saw how pale I was and how wide my eyes were she grew concerned. In a small and trembling voice I recalled the events to her, and when I looked up instead of shock or concern, she looked confused.

"Axel? I don't think there is a boy named Axel in this town. Are you sure you didn't just let your imagination get the best of you?" I looked up in horror.

"What are you talking about? Axel, my best friend, he's fourteen and has red hair and lives three houses down from ours. How could you forget him?" I felt my voice grow urgent and increasingly louder as I questioned her.

"Honey, there's no one who lives three houses down from ours, you know that. It's been a vacant lot for as long as we've lived here." I shook my head in disbelief and bolted out the door and down the street to Axel's house.

But, just like my mother had said, there was no house, just an overgrown and empty lot. That was the moment when something in my fragile 12-year-old mind snapped and I screamed louder than I had in my life. It was a scream filled with confusion and grief and heartbreak. I fell to my knees and sobbed until my mother reached me, and even then I wouldn't-I couldn't- stop crying. I thought I was going crazy.

It took me a week to get over the initial shock and insanely terrible grief. I didn't leave my room for anything besides going to the bathroom and one or two meals a day. My mother didn't make me go to school because she was worried about my fragile mental state. With my endless time lying in bed I replayed the scene over and over in my head. I asked myself hundreds of questions and tried to answer them the best I could. Why did Axel say not to forget him? I figured it was because he was scared and wanted someone to remember him. But then why did he say he would find me again? Did he know what was happening to him, and knew that somewhere down the road he could come back here, and that's why he didn't want me to forget about him? I normally got so frustrated and confused during that first week I cried more than I knew I could. I tried to tell myself to be a man and try and at least stop crying and get out of bed, but I couldn't. I was twelve; I was too young to just move on from something like this. Axel meant the world to me, my everyday life almost revolved entirely around him. We went everywhere together, did everything together, his parents were never around so he spent who knows how many days and nights at my house with my mom and I and sometimes my cousin Sora. Now, with him gone, there was a huge gaping void in the middle of my life that made me feel like there was no point in even getting out of bed if I didn't have Axel there to hang out with and make me smile and laugh. I was a twelve-year-old boy who heart had been broken into more pieces than a shattered piece of glass and who had experienced more traumatizing things in a day than some people experienced in a lifetime.

At least he wouldn't have to worry about me forgetting him, because I knew deep down inside my heart that that could never happen in a million years.


	2. Another One Bites the Dust

After I had finally been able to get back on my feet and leave my room a few weeks after his disappearance I started to look for anything he might have left behind. None of my other friends had ever heard of someone by that name, his house and his parents vanished along with him, and in all of the pictures of us together his face had vanished leaving me alone. It was like my whole life had been a lie and I was just starting to figure out the truth. I stopped talking about him to people after the first month because they treated me like I was crazy, and maybe I was. Crazy with desire to find out what happened to the only person I had ever been really close friends with, the only person I had really liked more than a friend. Everyday I woke up thinking about him and every night I fell asleep with the image of him smiling on the beach the last time I saw him. It was a habit I couldn't and wouldn't break, just in case. For the first year I constantly woke up with nightmares about that day, and no matter what I did they just didn't seem to go away. I would wake up screaming or out of breath or with a cold shiver running down my spine. All I could ever think was that never again would I get to see Axel, or even figure out if he was real or just a figment of my imagination.

It was now four years since Axel disappeared, and a feeling that Axel never really existed in the first continued to consume me. I had changed tremendously in the four years both physically and mentally. I was taller, my voice had changed, I still had a somewhat lanky and almost feminine build, but I wasn't weak or dainty and could hold my own whenever the need arose. My hair still refused to do anything but stick straight up in blond spikes and my once bright blue eyes had slightly dulled, I guessed because of the stress of losing Axel and the hopelessness that ensued. I made new friends, but I never really let any of them worm their way into my heart the way that Axel had. Sometimes people asked me about when I was twelve and thirteen and who my friend was that had disappeared, but I shrugged it off or ignored the comment. I was numb to the memory and wouldn't discuss it with just anyone. Sometime, only sometimes, I used to talk to Sora about it, but even as my cousin I could see he really didn't understand, so I let it go.

Three months after my seventeenth birthday things were fairly normal. I still thought about Axel, and I missed him, but I had convinced myself that real or not he probably wasn't coming back at least for a while, and if he did he wouldn't want to see me sitting around moping like a little crybaby. I joined track my junior year of high school, made new friends but the kind that I really only talked to in school. I tried my best to always seem happy, even when I was in a really nostalgic mood that happened to come around every few months and made me think about Axel more. Thing were still fairly normal, until the night of my prom. I went with a girl on my track team named Xion. She was quiet, but we were pretty good friends, and she was so shy at times that I figured I was one of the only guys she would dare go with. The night went by smoothly, mainly because I wasn't awkward because I liked her, Axel had kind of prevented any kind of serious feelings to develop because my heart was afraid that anyone I grew close to in that way would disappear too. Our group went to a crazy party thrown by my very own cousin. After a while I was starting to get claustrophobic and sick, so I pushed my way through to the door and ran into the cool night air. I saw Xion sitting on a bench in the backyard so I walked over and asked her if she wanted to go on a walk with me, and she agreed.

"Did you have fun tonight?" I asked her, trying to make small talk even though I was so tired and hot. I had shed my jacket and was left in my long-sleeve white-collar shirt, a dark blue vest and matching tie. She nodded, but seemed distracted.

"Yeah, me too. So do you-"

"I need to talk to you about something serious." I was surprised at being interrupted by her normally quiet voice, but I looked over at her as we kept walking. "It's about Axel."

I tripped but caught myself fairly quickly. She wanted to talk about Axel? I never remembered even telling her about him. "He's still alive, and he isn't just some weird memory, he's real." I was stunned, so much so that I stopped walking. How could I have seen that a night so normal and easygoing lead up to something this… unbelievable. She opened her mouth to say something again but something moved in the darkness ahead of us in the road and she stopped. Suddenly I felt her tiny frame shoving me harder than I though she could behind a parked car. "Don't move, don't make a sound. No matter what, don't move." I gave a dazed nod and started to ask her what was going on but she clasped her hand over my mouth. "Not a sound." And then she was gone. I knelt and looked through the car windows towards where Xion stood, with a look of complete fearlessness on her face.

"Xion," a man's voice, probably someone a few years older than me, pierced the night silence. "I'm sorry, I didn't want it to come to this."

"I know," she replied as her face relaxed a little, obviously recognizing the voice. It seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't quite place it. "I always knew this day was coming, I'm at least glad that you're the one who came."

The man steeped forward into the light, and I couldn't see his face because it was shrouded beneath a dark hood like the rest of his body. All I could tell was that he was extremely tall, probably almost a foot taller than me, and was lanky and thin.

"Me too." He paused, reaching up with a hand and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "How's he doing?"

"He's fine, still here. He was devastated after what happened, but he bounced back." The man's shoulder's slumped and he reached his hand under his hood and braced his forehead on it.

"I knew he would be, he's always been a softy like that."

"It wasn't your fault, don't forget that. You didn't choose to go, they came for you and there was no way of getting around it."

"Yeah I know but still. I'm missed him so much, and now I'm here but I still can't see him."

"I know it's hard, but you've got to get through it for just a little longer. We probably should get going though, _they'll _start to get suspicious and come looking for you and me. And I'm positive that you don't want _them_ here, because if you miss him that much it means you care about him and don't want to put him in harms way, am I right?" Behind the car I was captivated listening to their conversation, waiting to see what was going to happen next, and who the man was, though I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach.

He pulled his hand away from his head and straightened up. "Yeah, you're right." His voice sounded disappointed. Turning so his back was to me he extended his right hand an out of the ground started to appear strands of darkness that shot up and formed together until what seemed like a swirling dark portal had appeared. From the portal came a rush of freezing cold air that hit the man and intern me, making me shiver with fright and cold. Xion walked in first, confident and fearless, and though I was worried about where she was going I felt like she could handle herself. The man paused for a moment, pushed his hood down and started for the portal. That was when I saw the man had bright flaming red hair.

I shot up from my hiding place and ran towards him, but he was already half gone, the portal closing behind him.

"Axel!" I shouted shaking with anticipation as the man slowly turned around. I caught a glimpse of his green eye that caught in the light from a nearby house grow wide with surprise.

"Roxas?" He whispered it with a hint of question, and then, just as the portal was about to close completely, he realized I was really there. "Roxas!"

And then he was gone, again. He had vanished as quickly as he had appeared, but at least now I knew he wasn't all in my head. Then, a wave of despair washed over me as I sank to my knee in the middle of the street. Now I had lost Xion, and I had lost Axel for a second time. I felt tears involuntarily pool up in my eyes.

Life and it's unfairness was definitely getting to me.


	3. Three Days

Hope you guys enjoy are liking my story so far, please review!

I didn't remember going home and climbing into bed, but somehow I had. My prom attire lay scattered across the floor but I just didn't care anymore. I slipped on a pair of sweatpants and melted into the comforting surrounding of my sheets. It felt like Déjà vu feeling this way again, having no energy or drive to do anything, but worse, because I had already gone through it once and I knew it was hell on earth. But then I started to feel something else, something that was different than before.

This time I knew that Axel was real, and those things he had said to Xion were about me. He missed me just like I missed him. He cared about me enough to put himself in harms way to prevent me from getting hurt even though I could tell wherever he and Xion had gone it was definitely _not _a nice place to be. This time around, I had a small amount of hopefulness that I hadn't felt the first time Axel disappeared. Amongst the sadness and hope, I also had a burning desire to figure out what was happening for myself.

I found out that, like Axel, the mere existence of Xion had disappeared as completely as Axel's had. When I asked about her at my track practice two days later, I got weird looks. "You're sure you're not making her up, right Roxas?" Sora asked me; worried I had reverted back to how I had acted when I was twelve. This time around, I lied about her.

"Sorry, I guess I must just be confusing her with someone else, don't worry." I gave a half-assed smile that Sora ate up innocently, smiling back at me before we returned back to practice. We got out of practice at seven, and by the time I had dropped Sora off and returned to my house it was starting to get dark. I didn't get a chance to run that much at practice, so I dropped my bag inside and decided to go for a run through a nearby park. My mom was working late, so I figured she wouldn't care since I'd be back before she was anyways. I started out, running down my street and through the park, all the while it getting darker and darker out. When I was about halfway home I started to get a weird feeling that someone, or something, was following me, watching me form the darkness of the trees on each side of my running path. I picked up my pace and started listening carefully, but all I could hear was my shoes slapping against the concrete path. I forgot to watch where I was going and took a wrong turn where the path forked off and soon ended up at the lake, a half-mile in the wrong direction from my house.

"Shoot" I whispered under my breath as I stopped the catch my breath. Even though this was a wrong turn, the lake did look beautiful at night. The sky was clear with thousands of stars, but it was a new moon so everything was darker that usual. As I scanned along the beach I noticed a figure sitting about a hundred feet away, shrouded by the darkness of the night and his clothes. I knew it would be shorter if I ran down the beach and got on the main road by the visitor center, and even though I was creeped out by the figure I started running in his direction anyways. I was a few feet away from him when I realized that the figure was extremely tall with his legs spread out in front of him, and his body was thin and lanky looking even under the hooded black cloak outfit he wore. I stopped running and froze. Could it really be? Could it really be Axel, sitting here on the same beach where he first disappeared? Cautiously, my hands shaking and my cheeks burning red I slowly walked forwards. "Axel?" I whispered into the night silence. The figure made no reply, not even the smallest movement. I took another step forward, this time daringly reaching out my hand towards the figure's hood. I whispered his name a little louder again as I felt my hand brush against his hood. With one smooth sweep I pulled on the hood in an effort to see who was underneath it.

The moment the hood slid backwards, the entire figure burst into a million droplets of water, spewing in every direction. I yelled out in fright and stumbled backwards, trying to figure out what just happened, when I felt myself bump into a man behind me. Before I could turn around I felt a hand clamp over my mouth, refusing to let go even as I thrashed around beneath him trying to call out for help. "Gottcha," an unrecognizable but melodic voice sang out behind me, making me no less afraid. "Guess my water clones are finally getting better." He then took his hand off my mouth and gave a small shove away from him. "Sorry if I scared you, I just wanted to see how my skills were coming along, and apparently they're pretty believable." I turned around just in time to see him give me a big grin. "Plus you're the only person in this world that wouldn't be totally and completely freaked out." I highly doubted that, since at that moment I was definitely completely freaked out.

"D-do I know you?" I stuttered out, my heart still racing in my chest. The man didn't look familiar. He was about Axel's age, had green eyes, wore the same black outfit as Axel, and had dirty blonde hair that suck straight up on the top of his head but was long in the back like a mullet.

He laughed aloud, plopping himself down onto the ground as he swung what looked like a guitar around from his back and started to softly strum it. "I highly doubt that, but I know who you are. Axel talks about you all the time, and I've heard things from… well, that's not really important now is it? Anyways Roxas, promise you won't tell anyone I came here, alright?"

I gave him a confused look, but nodded anyways. "Ok… but why?"

"Well, the powers that be above me think I'm on a mission, top secret so I can't tell you anymore, but to be honest I hate my missions. I'd rather do recon than kill things. I mean killing, it's just, lame." That made me feel a little better, knowing either he had no reason to kill me or he was just too plain lazy to do it. "Anyways, I should probably be getting back, my boss will get suspicious and if he finds out, let's just say it won't be pleasant." He played one last cord before standing up and slinging his instrument behind his back. "Well, I'll be seeing you Roxas." He gave me a grin that faded into a look of sadness. "Actually, if you're lucky, I hope you won't be." A portal like the one Axel had made a couple nights ago had already appeared and the man started to walk towards it.

"Wait!" I called out, running towards him. "I know you don't have any reason to help me." I paused as he turned around, giving me his full attention. "But you seem to kind of be friends with Axel, and if you were any kind of a good friend you'd want to seem him happy."

"You seem to assume a lot, but you must know what happens when you assume, 'you make and ass out of U and me.'" He didn't smile or laugh, but he paused waiting for me to continue. Even though he was trying to get me to believe that I was wrong, I could tell he didn't believe what he was saying was true.

"Please, I just want to see Axel." It came out in a kind of whisper, even though I had wanted to shout it out to him, just to let him know how serious I was. "It's been four years, I need to see him."

The man sighed and furrowed his brow, contemplating his answer. "In three days, our boss and the other higher-uppers will be busy with something for a few hours." My eyes lit up with excitement. "If you can get here by this time three days from now, then I'll do my best to make sure Axel's here too."

"T-thank you." I stuttered out, and then I realized I didn't even know the man's name. "Wait, I never heard you said you're name."

"It's Demyx, but if you ever tell anyone besides Axel I was here." He laughed cheerfully. "Then I might finally have the motivation to kill someone." He gave me a wave and disappeared into the darkness behind him. I stood where he left me, shocked and with a stupid smile plastered across my face. I looked at my watch and realized that I had five minutes to get home before my mom busted me for being out so late, but I didn't care. Leisurely I started walking home, taking the long way back. I could only care and think about one thing.

In three days I was going to be able to see Axel, and actually talk to him this time. I was going to see Axel. I smiled into the night.


	4. Always running out of time

I forgot to add this in the last chapters but **Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Kingdom Hearts Characters!**

Please Review! =]

Three days had never felt so long. I was jumpy and anxious to the point where Sora was concerned his hyper activeness was rubbing off on me, but I didn't care what people thought. On the third day, when it had finally come, I skipped my last class and went to the lake. It was melancholic, coming here to the lake in the same fashion that I had done with Axel four years ago, but this time without him. It was more ironic though, that the place that haunted my nightmares for so many nights would turn out to be the place where I would finally be reunited with my friend. I had gone early, just in case. Even though I was many hours away from the time Demyx had told me to get here, I didn't care. It had been four years after all, and I had changed quite a bit, and I needed to make sure I had enough things planned to say so I could make the most out of this encounter. In my head I had an ever-increasing list of questions all dying to be answered, but I told myself to only ask the essentials because I wanted to talk to Axel as a friend, not as someone just prying for answers and then leaving once my questions were answered.

But in perfect honesty, I was terrified, excited, and nervous all rolled into one ball of emotion. I had gotten ready this morning with extra care, trying to make my hair look normal and putting in an effort into my outfit. What if Axel didn't like how I had changed? I knew he missed me and wanted to see me, but we had spent four years apart and who knew how drastically the two of us had changed in that time. I shoved those thoughts to one side and tried to think optimistically. We had changed, we had grown up, but if we were lucky, we wouldn't have grown apart. I laid down on the sand and closed my eyes, the warm sun lulling me to sleep.

I had a weird dream when I was asleep.

_It was one I had had so many time, of Axel and me on the day he disappeared, except this time instead it was me who started to say I felt weird and it was me who was enveloped by the darkness. I was lost in complete and endless darkness, even though I could see myself clearly. I heard voices talking through out the darkness, and I heard my name so many times I lost count. I tried to pinch myself awake and I shut my eyes tight, telling myself when I opened them I would be awake, but when I looked down I was in the same place, except now I was wearing a black hooded cloak like the one Axel had been wearing. When I looked up I saw another hooded figure, arms clasped behind his back facing towards me. He tilted his head up so he was looking straight at me, and spread his arms open wide. "Welcome back, Roxas." _

I awoke with a start to complete darkness; the little sliver of moon didn't illuminate the landscape very well. At first I though I was still dreaming but my eyes adjusted to the dim light and I realized I was in fact awake. I looked down at my watch, afraid that I had slept past the time Demyx told me to meet him here. Three minutes to go. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, counting down the minutes and seconds. The three minutes past just like the three days; they were long and tortuous and made me apprehensive and jumpy. Finally, the moment my watch turned 9:45 P.M., I looked up to see a portal appear and out step two hooded figured. I practically jumped to my feet, not even bothering to brush the sand off my shirt I was too excited. Demyx pulled his hood down first, a goofy smile plastered across his face.

"See man, I told you I'm not completely lazy all the time. I can do good occasionally." The second figure lowered his hood and I felt my breath catch in my throat. There, in all his glory, stood my long lost friend Axel. Even in the dim light I could see his eyes were as bright green as ever and were shinning with wonderment. His red hair contrasted perfectly with his eyes, the little star and moonlight catching gracefully in the spikes. He was so much taller than I thought he would be; he easily had a foot on me, but was thin and lanky as ever, even under the bulky cloak. His face looked the same, just older, except now with two tiny black teardrop tattoos under his eyes.

"Roxas?" He asked me tentatively. "It's really you, isn't it Roxas?" I nodded, telling myself to keep my emotions under control. I didn't want to start blubbering like a baby after four years.

"Yeah," I said shakily, taking a step towards him. "The one and only." A huge smile spread across Axel's face as he cleared the distance between us with two huge strides and hugged me so tight that he managed to lift me off the ground while simultaneously taking my breath away, both from his death grip on me and from him being so close to me. I hugged him back the best I could and soon he let go of me so I could breath.

"Sorry it's just… it's been so long since I've seen you. I've missed you so much." He turned to Demyx. "You can go, I'll be fine. I'll be back soon, but just distract anyone looking for me. Thanks man." The blonde gave us a quick head nod and disappeared into the darkness behind him.

Axel turned back around to face me, staring into my eyes making my cheeks turn red. He laughed, even though I was pretty sure he couldn't see my embarrassment, and took a step away. "Sorry I just jumped you like that. Like I said, I've missed you, a lot."

I felt myself do a big stupid goofy smile and I tried to look him in the eyes when I talked but he made me flustered me. "I've missed you too, Axel. You've changed so much, but you're still the same goofy guy that you were from four years ago. Mentally, you haven't aged a day."

Axel grinned at his friend, but the amusement faded quickly from his face. "I wish that was really true. I wish I was the same person I was back then, when everything so simple." He looked up down into my eyes again, but this time I didn't blush from embarrassment. I saw in his eyes hurt and years of despair lingering below the surface. "You've changed so much, I wish I could have been here to grow up with you."

"Me too." This time I leaned forward and hugged him tightly around the waist, almost sighing with complete happiness when I felt his arms wrap snug around me. "I've missed you so much Axel, more than I could ever put into words." We stood like that for what seemed like forever, content with finally being able to see each other after so many years of dreaming about it. I finally broke the silence. "Axel, where did you go? Where do you have to go back to?" He sighed heavily and we broke apart, motioning for me to sit next to him when he sunk down to sit on the sand.

"I'm not allowed to tell you anything, but I don't really care what the _rules_ are, you deserve to know something." He let out another sigh as he started to think about what to say. "The day I left, it's true I knew that I was supposed to disappear in a way, but I had no idea where to or why, I just had a weird feeling something strange and unbelievable was going to happen to me soon, and it did. This group of people called Organization 13 were the ones who made me disappear, and they're whom I've been with for the past four years. It's a whole different world there, literally a different realm that isn't physically connected to here. This organization told me that I was unique, I possessed powers beyond anything I could imagine in this world, and if I agreed to stay with them they would show me how to use them." He paused, the darkness growing in his expression and his eyes. "I told them I didn't care about fucking power, all I wanted was to go back to my home where everything was normal, but… I couldn't."

"Why not? Didn't they give you a choice?" I asked my questions with almost a frantic tone. I knew it was stupid to use the few hours we had bugging him about the past but I just had to know, it was slowly eating away at me every moment I didn't know what had happened to Axel.

I could tell this was digging up memories he had tried hard to keep buried because for a moment a flash of pain swept cross his face, visible even in the dim light. "They gave me a choice, you're right, but it the other option was too horrible for me to even consider choosing, even if it meant I wasn't going to be able to come back for a while."

I hesitated, the question burning inside me, waiting to explode out of me. "What, what was the other option."

"It doesn't matter, the past is in the past." He smiled and looked over at me. "The only thing that matters now is that we finally get to see each other, let's just ignore the technicalities. Except, I need you to know one thing, one really, really important thing." I looked up at him, waiting for him to continue. "It's just, there are a lot of people in the world who are good, but there are also a lot who are bad. I don't want to scare you or anything, but I need you to make sure you know the good from the bad. The organization is made up of bad people Roxas, people who will do anything because they have no hearts and no emotions to get in the way of their ambitions." He suddenly looked horribly sad and looked away from me. "I mean everyone in the Organization, trust no one, they'll only end up hurting you in the end, even if they don't want to." I blinked, thinking this over.

"But, wait, Axel… aren't you in the organization? Are you telling me that you don't have a heart, that I can't trust you?" He must be joking because I could never _not_ trust him; I cared about him too much, but Axel just sat staring straight ahead in silence. "Axel, tell me you're just lying, or joking. Tell me you're not serious."

"I wish I could…"

"But you can!" I practically yelled at him. "You can tell me that because you do have a heart, you've always had the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known, and I know you would never do anything to hurt me, no matter what, just like I would never to anything to hurt you either!" I felt tears start to form as I practically begged Axel to tell me what I needed to hear.

"I would never want to anything to hurt you, but I can't promise that nothing bad will ever happen to you because of me. Roxas, let's just drop it, I don't want the only time we get to see each other end in fighting." Axel turned to look at me now, a pleading look in his eyes. I wiped the tears out of my eyes discretely and gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, you're right." We sat in silence for a while before Axel started asking me about my life here, and about everyone he used to be friends with. The time passed quickly, and we recalled so many memories and laughed so hard sometimes that my stomach hurt and Axel had started to cry. But everything good has to come to an end eventually, which was why when Demyx appeared out of the darkness our laughter faded and Axel jumped to his feet and I followed suit.

"You're early, what's wrong?" Axel asked eagerly, fearing he had been discovered.

Demyx couldn't meet his eyes with Axel's. "Their meeting, I over heard some of it." This time he looked up at Axel, his face devoid of any emotion. "The time has finally come, soon everything will be ready and it will be time for him to rejoin the organization." When Demyx said 'him' his eyes wandered over to me, and I returned his gaze with a look of surprise. I looked over at Axel for help to see his face go from anxious to complete devastation.

"Go, I'll be back in a few minutes." Axel turned towards me as Demyx disappeared. "I'm sorry Roxas, but I have to go now."

"But why, what's happening? What was Demyx talking about?" I could hear the fear building in my voice the more I asked. Every question I asked Axel made his face contort more in sadness.

"You'll find out soon enough, but I have to go back now, I'm sorry." He looked into my eyes again and took a step over to hug me again.

"I'm sorry Roxas, about everything that's happened, and about everything that might and will happen, I'm sorry about it all." And then he was gone. I could still feel his lingering embrace even after he was gone for awhile, but all I could do was stand there, lost in confusion and sadness. I had no tears to cry this time; I had finally run out of tears to cry. I was left with more confusion and more questions than I had had before Axel had shown up.

But mostly, I had more longing for everything to be normal like it was four years ago. I just wanted my best friend back.


	5. I will follow you into the dark

Please review! Let me know how I'm doing! I'm really enjoying writing this and I would love your feedback! Nice-ness encouraged =]

It had been a week since Axel's visit, and life as continuing on like normal for everyone but me. I was too hung up on all the things Axel had been telling me and what Demyx had said about me to just be able to go back to how things were before. Track was no longer enjoyable, so I skipped practice three of the five days and went running by myself. I took extra care to make sure I didn't go anywhere near the lake, figuring that if something bad was going to happen then going to the lake where all sorts of weird things had been happening would be a bad idea. I hung out with Sora after school mostly, and I tried to act normal around my mom, but she could always tell when something was up. She knew something was bothering me, and I could tell she wanted to ask me, but after my mental break down four years ago she let me keep my problems to myself. And besides, how could I even begin to explain this to her. It wasn't like I could just waltz up to her and say, "Hey mom, school was good, oh and some guy is black cloaks are going to come kidnap me sometime soon so you'll probably never see me again." Yeah, I could tell that conversation would go along just swimmingly. So I kept everything to myself, and she never bothered to ask, and we were happier that way.

I started thinking about Xion more, wondering to myself why she had been chosen by this organization too. She had always seemed so shy and timid; I didn't understand what physical power they saw in her that I, her friend, didn't. At least with Axel he had always had that spark in him that I saw would lead him to do great things, plus he was tall and both physically and mentally strong, so I had no problem believing this organization saw power in him.

I had started to think about a lot of things more, but what my thoughts always brought me back to were Axel's words. How could he have no heart? And why would he even talk about one day causing me harm, even if he didn't want to? I knew Axel would have changed in the four years, but this was verging on changing in an insane way. Plus the way he spoke when he said it sent shivers down my spine, and not in a good way. And then what Demyx had said… it was just too much to process, but it never left my thoughts for long. He had said it was time for me to rejoin the organization, but why re-join? I had never been a part of it, had I? No, of course I hadn't. I knew I would remember something as important as that. Argh, this was getting too complicated…

Monday rolled around, and I started off to school like any other day. I drove myself to school, went through the motions of all my classes, talked with my friends, and then drove Sora home. That's when things started to get weird again. Sora had asked me to hang out with him for a while, so I agreed, hoping his energetic self would help to distract me from all the thoughts in my head. And he did. Things were normal for a while, until I left to go downstairs to get a glass of water. I had started walking back up the stairs when I heard loud commotion from upstairs and suddenly Sora cry out "Roxas!" I dropped the glass of water and bolted up the stairs three at a time. I flung open the door, knowing in the pit of my heart what I would see. I heard a muffled yell from Sora and a flash of black, and then it was silent and still. I stood there, quietly, not crying or yelling, just standing still, for about ten minutes before I started to move. As if guided by some unseen force I walked down the stairs, out to my car, and drove myself calmly to the lake. It was already starting to get dark, and by the time I had walked the half mile from the parking lot to that oh so familiar spot of sand, no one else was around, which for me was good.

It was there that I lost it, the anger and frustration building up inside me until I burst. "Damn it, why does this keep happening?" I yelled, not even trying to hold anything in anymore. "Why do ALL the people that I actually give a damn about keep getting taken away? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?" I screamed the last part as loud as I could, listening to it echo around me afterwards. "Demyx, I know you can hear me, so just get it over with and take me to this damn organization already! I can't stand to see anyone else ripped out of my life!" I heard the portal warp behind me before I saw of heard Demyx, but I knew he was there.

"Geez Roxas, can you yell any louder? I don't think people heard you in the next world over." He tried to be funny and smiled hoping to get the same response from me, but he was disappointed. My eyes were red and raw from the tears of frustration I had just cried, my expression was contorted in pain, frustration, confusion, and rage without a hint of amusement.

"Just take me already, take me to your stupid organization, I just don't care anymore. I can't lose anyone anymore, or I my heart will literally break." I didn't yell this time, more pleaded but with rage evident in my voice.

Demyx's face fell and stood contemplating me for a second. "They were right, you really are different. It seems you do remember what it's like to have a heart." I blinked and looked at him confused. "But never mind, that story is for another day. Here, if you want to go to your friends so badly, no one is stopping you." He conjured up a portal to darkness and looked at me again. "But remember, you can go now on your own, willingly, or we can come and forcefully take you later, but there is no way out. You will eventually belong again to the organization that claimed you once again."

I didn't understand the last part, but I did understand it was now peacefully or later brutally, and I wanted my friends to know that I came to find and save them on my own terms because I cared about them. Defiantly I walked towards the portal, and as I walked through I heard Demyx muttered softly and sadly. "You don't know what you're throwing yourself into…" But I didn't care.

Xion, Sora, just be ok when I find you…

And Axel…

When I find you, I'll prove you do have a heart, I promise. And then everything went black.


	6. This is for real

Please keep reviewing, I love to hear feedback about my story and if everyone likes it so far!

A/N: anyone who can figure out who the songs are by that I used as chapter names for (except chapter three) earns serious brownie points in my book =]

"Am I dead?" I thought to myself as I opened my eyes to darkness. That would be a highly anti-climatic ending, finally getting to figure out what's going on and then biting the dust. But there was something about this darkness, about how I was still breathing and my heart was racing in my chest that made me think that I wasn't really dead.

"Keep walking." I turned around, but saw nothing but blackness.

"You have to keep moving." It was a voice I didn't recognize, one that sounded like a girl.

"Who's there?" I asked hesitantly, trying to seem brave.

"That's not important, just keep moving, or the darkness will swallow you." I sensed the urgency in her voice and did as I was told. Stiffly I moved my legs, and though it didn't look like I was moving, I could feel my feet making contact with a hard surface below, and so I walked. After what felt like an eternity of going nowhere I saw a flash of light in the distance and sped up my pace. The light grew brighter and brighter until I was engulfed in it, and I tripped on some unforeseen force and tumbled through the light and landed with a painful thud on the other side. The first things I could register were that I was wet from rain and that I had landed on concrete. With wobbly legs I stood and tried to get by bearings, but I knew I was hopelessly lost.

The world around me was dark and gray. The clouds that seemed to endlessly let down a light rain were dark gray, the ground was cold and wet and black concrete, and the skyscrapers loomed ominously above me with dim lights and dull colors. I had never seen this place before, and yet there was something oddly familiar about it, like a foggy memory buried deep in my brain that was starting to become clearer the more I took in of the world. I started out on my own, walking aimlessly down streets and alleys. Then suddenly I turned a corner and was face to face with one of the largest skyscrapers looming high above me, and the longer I stared at it the more I started to get a weird feeling that I had been here before. Then, a memory flashed by hazily in my head.

_"Axel, do you really think we'll ever be strong enough to be in the organization?" _

_ "Of course Xion, don't worry." That familiar voice, those piercing green eyes, of course it was Axel. It was the three of us, him, Xion, and me, sitting on the steps leading up to the skyscraper._

_ "Yeah, we'll be the strongest ones any one of those organization members have ever seen! They'll be begging us to let them join them!" _

_ "You think so Roxas?" _

_ "Of course!"_

I stood in front of the building for a few more moments, wondering what it was that I had just saw. I didn't really remember any of that happening to me, and yet there was some strange feeling about it that made me feel like it was real. For now I shook it off and started walking again. I needed to find out where I was and where Axel was. I knew I should find Sora and Xion too, but there was an urgency in my heart that could only me calmed by finding Axel, that much I was certain of.

I got myself lost pretty fast, the streets and alleys and buildings all blurring together into one, and I knew I was going in circles when I noticed the same intersection after about the fifth time. With a heavy sigh I turned and went down a different street, wandering aimlessly until I recognized footsteps ahead of me. I paused and moved so I was in the shadows, and footsteps slapping against the wet concrete getting louder and louder until the figure turned the corner ahead of me and started my way. I had a weird feeling the moment they turned the corner that I knew them, and the tall lanky frame confirmed my suspicions. Recklessly I waited until he was almost next to me and jumped from my hiding place into his path. The figure jumped away from me I surprise and in his once empty hands appeared two chakrams that instantaneously lit up in flames. I recoiled so fast I lost my balance and fell with a thud onto to concrete behind me, my head making contact with the hard ground and the force knocked the wind out of me, so all I could do was stare straight up into the sky, waiting for my senses to come back. But the figure didn't have any patience to wait for me to recover; instead they stood over me, strands of red hair escaping from under their hood as they looked down at me.

"Roxas…" His voice made no attempt to hide his sadness, which confused me, because seconds later he pulled down his hood and laughed at me. It was hollow and almost empty, but it was still a laugh. "You clumsy fool." He smiled and extended a hand to me. I took it, shaking as I stood.

"Oh shut up." I mumbled but with an embarrassed smile on my face. "I thought you were going to kill me."

"You know I couldn't do that." He turned and started walking like he had been before, and like a lost child I followed him. Axel never asked me how I had gotten to this world or why I had come. He seemed to already know or at least assume why I was here and never questioned my motives, but the way he had said my name when he stood over me made me feel like he was sad that I was here, like there was something I was missing about this world.

I walked in silence beside him until we came to the end of the street. Axel opened a portal and without hesitation I followed him inside, but I saw the look on his face when he turned to see me walk behind without fear or restraint. He looked even more distraught than before, and part of me wondered if there was something I was missing that Axel wasn't telling me.

_"I would never want to anything to hurt you, but I can't promise that nothing bad will ever happen to you because of me…" _

I tried to shake his words out of my head, but they refused to leave. Axel was my best friend; he would never do anything to hurt me…

…Right?

As we walked through the darkness towards a speck of light in the distance, I looked over at Axel. His face was contorted with a mix of emotions and his brow was furrowed as if he was deep in thought. I began to feel even uneasier. Slowly I raised my hand and reached out and touched his arm, jolting him from his thoughts. "Axel…what's wrong?" My voice was a little shaky, and I knew Axel could sense that. He always could tell what I was feeling, like a sixth sense.

"Nothing important." He gave me a fake smile that I pretended to buy. We walked through the light, this time without me tripping since I gripped Axel's arm for support. When we had passed through the light I blinked away the brightness and looked around at where we were now in awe. I was an enormously vast white and gray castle that, when I looked down through the glass floor I stood on, had no bottom and stretched for what looked like a mile above me. It was so extensive it was hard to comprehend.

Axel turned to me and gave me an actually genuine smile that made me smile back. He placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze making my heart skip a beat.

"Welcome home, Roxas."


	7. The Only Exception

Thanks for the reviews; they brighten my day!

Plus, Superkawaiifreak earns brownie points in my book for guessing some of the songs right =]

Enjoy, and review!

"_Can you believe it? We're actually in the headquarters of Organization 13! This place is so cool!" _

_ "Seriously, Demyx? Can't you at least _try _to not be so dorky?"_

_ "Oh come on Roxas, I know you're just as amazed by this place as I am, so what's the big deal if I get a little carried away?" _

_ "Well for starters we don't want them to think we're a bunch of losers, we want to make a good first impression, we-"_

_ "Fine, fine, fine, I see your point." Demyx made a face at me as we continued to walk up the stairs. "But still, it's weird to think we actually made it this far." He motioned to the two people following us and I nodded as I looked back. Axel and Xion had the same excited looks plastered on their faces as Demyx and I had, and when they looked up and saw me they simultaneously flashed me toothy grins. We really had all made it this far, and the best part was, the worst was over. It was smooth sailing from here on in, and the best part was we'd always have each other. I accidentally let my gaze fall too long on Axel when I had been thinking and he noticed. He let out a small laugh and I felt my cheeks start to turn pink, so I whipped back around, pretending nothing had happened. _

Another memory had flashed by in my head as I looked around the castle. I couldn't tell whether it was from seeing this place for the first time again or because I was with Axel, but I didn't care. I was getting confused as to why these memories-memories I couldn't remember happening-were playing in my head. I could tell they were my memories, and I saw myself in them and heard myself talking, but they were still on a different level where they didn't feel real to me.

"You ok?" Axel's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and when I looked up into his bright green eyes, all I could do was nod. "Do you remember this place?"

I nodded, still looking around the place in amazement. "Kind of, it just… it all feels so familiar, yet I don't feel like I've actually been here before. How weird is that?"

He smiled a smile that made me melt on the inside, and without warning he took me by the wrist and started dragging me up a flight of stairs. "Come on, the others are waiting for you." The moment his hand grasped my wrist I had thought I would get that weird feeling in my stomach, but something else happened. The moment he started pulling on my wrist my vision went black as another memory started to pan out across my vision.

_"How can you just leave? We finally made it this far, and you're just going to give up and leave!" Axel was yelling at me, with a face torn between anger confusion and pain. _

_ "That was the plan." I replied bitterly. _

_ "How-how can you say that? Don't you remember all the hard work, all the training we put in just to get here? Just yesterday you were happy to be here, like you have been for the past _six months_! Why are you changing your mind now?" _

_ "I can't tell you…" My voice lacked its earlier bitterness, which was replaced by a heavy sadness. _

_ "But why not Roxas?" I felt a shiver run down my spine when he said my name. I hated doing this to him, putting him through pain. _

_ "I…I just, I can't tell you, I'm sorry." _

_ "Rox, I'm your best friend, you can tell me anything!" I wanted to snap right there and tell him, but I had to stay strong. I couldn't tell him. _

_ "No, not this time." I turned away from him, feeling myself on the verge of a breakdown and I didn't want to sob like a baby in front of him. "Please Axel, just let it go. You'll be fine without me here, just trust me." I started to walk towards the door, so I could get out of Axel's room and breakdown behind closed doors, but he stopped me, grabbing hard on my wrist and pulling me back towards him. When he got me facing him again he looked me straight in the eyes, and his expression dramatically shifted. _

_ "Roxas, are you ok?" He dropped my wrist and noticed where his fingers had grabbed my skin just a bit too roughly leaving faint but visible red marks. "Oh man, did I hurt you Roxas? Oh god, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I just got caught up in my emotions, and hey, god, I'm so sorry." He reached out and pulled me closer to him into a hug as I stood there weakly hugging him back, silent tears flowing freely down my face. His concern for my well-being and the sheer level of his concern pushed me over the top, and all I could do was stand there, staining his shirt with my tears, as I tried to get a freaking grip on myself and he rubbed my back with his hand. _

_ "You didn't hurt me Axel, none of this is your fault, don't ever think that." I told him reassuringly once the tears had stopped. _

_ "Are you sure?" He asked me, and even though he knew I was fine now, he still didn't let go. _

_ "Positive." _

_ "Ok…are you still leaving though?"_

_ "Yeah…" my voice trailed off sadly, revealing how much I wanted to stay here with Axel forever. _

_ "Do you want to go?" He was still rubbing my back slowly, making it hard to think. _

_ "N-no, I don't want to."_

_ "Then don't. You just can't. I swear Roxas, I won't make it very long without you." _

_ I gave a laugh that was louder and filled with more sadness than I had wanted to show. "You'll be just fine Axel, I know you will." _

_ "No, Roxas, you don't understand. I really won't be." I pulled away from him now, knowing the longer he talked like this the more I wouldn't be able to leave. _

_ "Axel, you've got Xion and Demyx, and everyone else here."_

"_But that's not the same, none of them are the same or even close to you. _They're _not my best friend, you are!" _

" _I'm sure we'll see each other again somewhere down the road, but for now, I just have to leave." I lied to make him let me go faster, and I lied for myself. _

"_You're the strongest guy I know Axel, I know you'll get over this, me leaving. I know you will." I turned and hurried for the door, and this time without Axel following me. I looked back one last time to see a heartbroken Axel standing there, his arms still in front of him a little form where I had been standing. "Goodbye, Axel."_

_ But I didn't leave just then. I stood, my whole body shaking uncontrollably outside out of view of his doorway, the door still open and the emotions from the whole affair still lingering in the air. I started to feel the tears leaking out of my eyes again, but I froze when I heard Axel's voice inside his room, talking to himself. _

_ "How can you be so sure?" He paused and the words hung in the air. "Cause you know what, Roxas, if I had a heart, I'm pretty sure this would be what it feels like to have it broken." _

_ I couldn't remember how I walked back to my room, but I had. I didn't remember crawling into my bed, but here I was. I did remember, however, sobbing till my throat was dry and my eyes were red and raw. _

I opened my eyes after the memory passed and found myself lying on my back looking up into bright green eyes filled with concern. Déjà vu.

"Geez Roxas you stared the shit out of me," Axel said as he stood up letting out a deep breath with a hand on his chest. "But are you ok?" He leaned back down and offered a hand to help me stand. I extended my hand, but then jerked it back; scared another memory would over take me if I come in physical contact with Axel again. I hoisted myself up off the ground on my own and looked up at Axel. "Are you sure everything ok, Roxas?" There was that shiver again, just this time it wasn't in a memory.

"Y-yeah," I stuttered out. I started to walk towards Axel who was turning to walk up the stairs. "Everything's just fine."

Not.


	8. Time After Time

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but now that all my finals are over and summer is here hopefully I'll have much more time to write! Like always, enjoy and please review!

I followed Axel aimlessly up stairs and through hallways and more doors than I could count. Finally, after the maze of floors and doors ended, Axel paused outside a large white door at the end of a long hallway. The whole walk here he had stayed close to my side, looking over nervously every few minutes to make sure I wasn't going to collapse again and give him another scare, but far enough away so that we never physically touched. At our destination, I looked up at the tall and ornate white door, feeling like I had been here once before. And, seeing as how the rest of my day had been going, I figured I probably had been.

"Hurry up." Axel was already at the door, one hand on a handle and his shoulder braced up against the door. I rushed over and did the same, and with one final push the door slid slowly open until there was enough room for Axel and me to slip in. I followed him into the room. The walls were such a bright shade of white I had to squint for a few seconds as I looked around the room. Axel was standing in the middle of the room now, but I felt like I couldn't move my legs, as if my feet were glued down.

In a circle around the entire room were figures dressed in the same black cloaks as Axel, all of them sitting on chairs that were towering over me. Most of the people had their black hoods down revealing their faces, but even those whose faces were concealed I could tell were looking at me. Their eyes seemed to bore down into my skull as they sat looking at me with expressions of surprise, anger, or worried. I recognized Demyx among the faces of those with worried expressions, but when I made eye contact he looked away as a flash of guilt swept across his face, his gaze falling on Axel. My eyes followed his gaze slowly and cautiously until I too was looking at Axel. He still stood in the center of the room turned towards me, but his gaze went past me, almost through me.

This wasn't the Axel I remembered. He was… different. The Axel I knew was funny and sweet, but the person standing in front of me was cold and distant. It had been such a sudden change I was shocked, and when his gaze finally met me I saw it, the thing I was missing. His expression was sad and hopeless as he snapped his fingers and in a small flash disappeared and reappeared on the empty chair across from me.

"Welcome back, Roxas." A figure appeared so suddenly in front of me I stumbled backwards but regained my balance before I had the chance to topple over backwards. The man in front of me was tall, had piercing yellow eyes, long silver hair, and a smile played on his lips, but I felt like I wasn't filled in on what the joke was because I wasn't sure what was so amusing.

"H-how do you know my name?" I stammered out and the man's smile faded.

"You really have been gone a long time." He turned back towards the center of the room and in the blink of an eye was gone, but his voice shouted from high a top the tallest chair. "He's not ready yet, Naminé is taking her time on this one. Axel, take him out of here now, and find Naminé. Tell her I'm not pleased." But, as I watched Axel, he made no motion to move. "Axel, I said now." I saw Axel's fist clench tightly as the other hand snapped and he appeared beside me.

"This has gotten too screwed up." He whispered, more to himself than me, as he took my wrist and gently pulled me away from the room. I let him pull me along as we went through another maze of hallways and stairs. Everything blurred together as we hurried across the castle, mostly because I was still in a daze from what had went on in that room. After what felt like hours of twists and turns we stopped in front of a door, and I recognized it from my memory.

This was Axel's room.

I tensed up as Axel unlocked it and placed a hand on my back. Gently but firmly he pushed me into the room, and the door was already half closed by the time I turned around, but Axel wasn't inside with me.

"I'm sorry Roxas, but I'll be back soon. Just this once listen to me." Something changed in his expression for a fraction of a second, almost as if he was being crafty, testing me. And then he shut the door.

For a few seconds I stood there, trying to let everything that had happened in the last few minutes sink in. When my hands stopped shaking and I could actually think clearly, something horribly important hit me. Axel had just left, and didn't that man from before tell him to go _'tell her he's not pleased?_' I wasn't an idiot, and I knew from the way that guy had said it that something very unpleasant was about to take place. Returning to my sense I bolted for the door and swung it open, but Axel was already gone. But, the portal he had used was still there, slowly dissolving away into darkness. With my sanity long gone, I took a running start and threw myself into the darkness, and once inside I turned to see the hallway still in sight, slowly getting smaller and smaller.

"Go back! You shouldn't be doing this it's too dangerous!" It was that voice from before, a girl's voice. "Please Roxas just listen to Axel for once!" I stood up, my knees aching from when I had jumped into the darkness and landed painfully on them. Completely ignoring the voice shouting at me in the darkness I started walking forward, waiting for the light to appear in the distance. The voice kept talking to me, telling me to go back. "Please Roxas, please, Axel doesn't want to see you getting hurt!" I paused, letting her words sink in. Then I started running, seeing the light appearing ahead brighter and brighter until it almost overtook me. Just before I was in the clear, I heard the voice shout out one last plea, and the words rang in my head as I ran out of the portal with my heart pounding in my chest.

"He still loves you. If he sees you getting hurt it'll kill him."

I stumbled out of the portal and into a vibrantly white room where, at the opposite end, stood Axel and a young girl in a white dress. Although I couldn't hear them talking Axel's hand motions gave me the impression he was getting extremely worked up. The girl, who I assumed was Naminé, looked over at me when I regained my balance after jumping from the portal, and her face lit up in both surprise and happiness, and then quickly fell, her eyes darting back to Axel. The hand motions ceased and Axel, confused by her expression, turned around and saw me. When his mind processed who I was, I saw even from far away his shoulders fell, and a wave of guilt and fear spread over me. What if that voice had been right?

I walked over to them cautiously, my eyes shifting back and forth between them, feeling as though I should have stayed in the room like Axel told me. "I guess you won the bet Naminé, Roxas really doesn't listen to anyone." I looked over at Axel to see him grinning down at me and I felt my cheeks start to turn pink, so I quickly looked away with a grin forming on my lips.

"You shouldn't be happy about that Axel, especially here." Naminé wasn't angry or harsh, almost sad and worried, as if while we were smiling and joking something horrible was going on around us waiting to pounce when we least expected it.

"Lighten up Naminé, no one will hurt Roxas, not with me around. No one wants to get on my bad side. Plus, he's no prize to anyone without his memories back, but even once they're all back, he'll be fine." He looked at me with this spark in his eyes that made me feel like he had a plan already formulated in the back of his head.

"Oh, about that Axel…" Her voice trailed off shyly when I looked over at her, and she quickly looked down at the floor. "I don't think I can get his memories back, on my own at least."

Axel looked over at her with wide eyes. "What do you mean?" His voice was bordering on hysterics.

"Well I mean his memories are all still in his head, they just need to be unearthed. I can get the little memories, like day-to-day routines and insignificant things, but the big memories, the important ones… they need a little more work. If you can find a way to jog those memories, then they should come back on their own."

"Oh yeah!" I jumped in suddenly and a bit too loudly, making poor Naminé jump. "Sorry, it's just, some of my memories have come back just from being here and being around… some people." I felt my cheeks turn pinker, but I hoped Axel wouldn't notice.

"That's great!" Axel grabbed my hand and with the other opened a portal in front of us. "I'll just take you to all the places you used to go to, that should jog your memory!" He waved behind him and flashed a quick smile at Naminé before stepping into the portal dragging me along. I turned mid drag and waved too, and just before I was pulled fully into the darkness I locked eyes with Naminé. She looked so sad and helpless, and I wanted to turn back, but I didn't want to unclasp my hand from Axel's, as selfish as it was. I smiled sadly, and she returned with a meager grin and a small wave before I was enveloped by darkness.

I squeezed Axel's hand and as he rushed towards the light he looked back with a goofy grin and squeezed my hand back. As nervous as I was to re-discover a life I didn't remember living, I figured as long as I was with Axel, things couldn't be that bad.

And then the light over took us both.


	9. Smile

Now that schools out I have so much more time to write, it's wonderful. Please review, since it would mean so much to me and I really want to know how many people actually like this story and how it's going! Enjoy!

I blinked, unaccustomed to the bright light. Wherever we were, Axel had taken us to someplace extremely high up, and the setting sun was shinning right into my eyes. It took me a few moments to take in the view around me, and after shielding my eyes from the sun with the back of my hand, I realized where we were. We were standing high up above a small town on a clock tower, which chimed deafeningly loud above me and startled me out of staring at the blazing red sunset. This place seemed so familiar, so calming. I looked over at Axel who had been watching me intently, but when our eyes met he looked down, embarrassed. Or, had the red on his cheeks just been a trick of the light?

Axel was the first one to break the silence. "So, do you… you know, remember this place?" He scratched the back of his head, attempting to be calm and not really interested, but there was urgency in his voice hidden beneath the surface. I looked around the clock tower more, walking away from the edge and towards one of the brick walls nearby. Slowly, I leaned back and pressed my back up against the wall so I was facing the sunset.

My eyes unconsciously closed, and suddenly I was remembering. Memorizing every time Axel and I had been up here eating sea-salt ice cream and talking about our missions and life. I memorized the way his face looked in my memories as the light bounced off it, making him look, if it was possible, even more handsome than he already was. I was captivated by how his bright green eyes caught the fading light and rivaled every spectacular sunset ever seen over Twilight Town. I was finally remembering the moments that mattered most in Axel and mine's friendship, and then one memory stood out, and I realized it was the turning point. The one memory that made my mind forget about everything else except for the images passing through my mind. They were so real, I could see and feel and hear everything, that for a moment I blissfully forgot it was just a memory.

_It was just Axel and I, sitting on the edge of the clock tower like every other day. I had started to get up as the sun was almost completely set, and I didn't want Xemnas on my case for being late, but Axel's hand grabbing my arm stopped me. I slowly sat back down, confused as I looked at him and realized there was something different about him in that moment._

_"Roxas, do you ever think about what it feels like to love someone so much it feels like, just maybe, you actually do have a heart?" My breath caught in my throat, and nervously I turned away from his gaze, fixating my own back on the fading rays of light._

_"Yeah, I guess. Sometimes. Why?"_

_"It's just, whenever I'm around you Roxas, I feel like that, like I actually have a heart and it's bursting at the seams whenever you're near me."_

_I turned to look at him, about to ask him what he meant by that, but the words never had the chance to form. Axel's lips were pressed against my own, and it took me a moment to realize what was going on. It wasn't until I felt his hand glide up my arm and rest on the side of my face so gently and softly it felt unreal that I realized what was happening and I pressed my lips back to him. He groaned softly and started kissing me with more force, more passion, but then drew back as if he was afraid he had already gone too far._

_"I-I'm sorry, Roxas. I don't know what, I just…I'm sorry." He stood up so quickly he almost lost his balance standing on the edge, and before I even had the chance to respond he was gone, a swirling portal of darkness that quickly faded away was all that had been left in his wake. I sat there, in shock and surprise, and with one finger I gradually raised it to my lips, which were still tingling from where Axel's lips had been moments before for not nearly long enough._

_"Axel…" I murmured softly into the darkness that had now enveloped the town. Not only had Axel just kissed me, but he had also admitted that he was in love with me, or at least what he accepted loving felt like. I didn't know what to say, to do, to feel, it was just all so over whelming. But, regardless of everything, I smiled to myself. It wasn't a full out toothy smile but it had more meaning than a simple grin. I was happy, and that was all that really seemed to matter to me at the moment._

My eyes flashed open, the memory having seemed so real I was shocked into remembering I was here with Axel, long after that memory, and yet because I had just remembered it, it felt like I had just happened.

"Did you remember anything?" Axel didn't attempt to hide his excitement and anticipation, as he looked at me with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. I looked at him and blinked, not sure what to say. "Did you?"

"Yeah," I replied quietly, debated over whether or not to tell Axel I knew he loved me, just like the voice said he did.

"Well, what did you remember? What did you see?" I remained silent for a moment, the sun setting below the horizon, but Axel still looked as handsome as ever even in the dying light.

"Did you mean it?" Axel looked at me confused. "Did you mean it, when you said you loved me, and that I made you feel like you had a heart?" I saw the realization set into his face, and in a flash he went from standing a few feet away from me to holding me in a hug so tight I though he was trying to squeeze the life out of me.

"Of course I meant it! I've always loved you, and I still do. Heck, I'll probably always love you, whether you want me to or not."

"Axel… you're… suffocating… me." I gasped for air when he loosened his grip, not fully letting go.

"Do you believe me?" I wasn't sure how to respond. I felt like this moment deserved more than just a simple 'yes' or 'yeah.' So, with shaky confidence I placed my hands on his chest and, standing on my tiptoes, I placed my lips on his.

God, it felt better than any memory. He wrapped his arms around me and smiled into the kiss, completely understanding my answer to his question. The kiss lingered for a few moments longer before we parted, but he leaned down and touched our foreheads together.

"I've missed you Roxas. So freaking much."

"I've missed you too, Axel. You can't even begin to understand how much."

I don't remember how long we stayed like that for, smiling and looking into each other's eyes as both of us were filled with so much unbelievable happiness. Who knew being in love could feel so amazing.


	10. Shark in the Water

**Another chapter, yay! I spent a good hour or two mapping and planning out this story, and I'm so excited for these next few chapter! Please review and enjoy! **

I couldn't remember how long it took us to get through all the worlds I had ever been to or had even one insignificant memory on, but by the time we returned to where we had left Naminé, I was exhausted; mentally and physically. There were so many memories crammed into my brain I was getting a headache, and confused. Some of the memories I had had were from when I was twelve years old, and then thirteen, fourteen fifteen, and even sixteen. Nothing made any sense any more as Axel talked to Naminé across the room and I sat with my head in my hands from the pain of my headache in a chair.

"Roxas?" Naminé's voice was quiet and I barely noticed it. "Roxas, are you all right?" Axel stood behind her, his eyes filled with worry and his forehead furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah, I'm just tired I guess." I gave them both a tired smile and I saw their faces visibly relax.

"You've been through a lot today Rox, but at least you're almost done. And now it's up to Naminé to put that last few pieces together, right Naminé?" Both out gazes fell on a particularly nervous and guilty looking Naminé who had shrunk away from us a little as Axel had been talking. "Naminé?"

"W-well…" She looked up and her eyes darted from me to Axel back to me. "There's still one memory that too big for me to big out on its own, and you can probably figure out which one that it, Axel." Confused I looked up at Axel whose face went a little pale and whose gaze turned down towards the floor avoiding looking at Naminé or me. What ever this memory was, apparently it was bigger than I thought.

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about that." He looked up at me with a sad smile. "Guess you're not done Rox, sorry." I sighed, as my headache seemed intensify with that news.

"I figured I wasn't, that would have been too easy." I smiled back and his smile lost some of its sadness. For a moment I was happy, until realization hit me. "Actually, I do remember a little bit about what happened on the day I left." Two pairs of wide eyes looked at me with surprise and shock.

"Roxas you should have told us!" Naminé's voice was finally loud enough for me to hear here without having to lean closer to her, even bordering on yelling, and it surprised me a little.

"I-well I didn't know it was that important…" I was such a bad liar, and Axel noticed it as he gave me a scrutinizing look.

"When did you remember whatever it was that happened?" I swallowed nervously.

"It was when we had just gotten in to the castle. It was when you grabbed my wrist and I blacked out." I looked up into Axel's eyes and I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. He seemed so understanding and concerned about me, it was breaking me on the inside to tell him about the horribly painful memory, especially since I had finally remembered all the good things between us.

Everything just bubbled over and poured out of me all at once, shocking the other two and myself, but I couldn't stop talking. Even when I glanced up and saw Axel's face falling as he remembered the same memory, my brain just kept telling me to keep talking, just keep talking. When I was done, there was silence. Axel wouldn't look at me, he was just staring blankly ahead, but I could almost see the gears in his head turning. Then, just as suddenly as I had poured out this memory, Axel turned and started to walk away.

"Axel…"

"Don't, Roxas, just don't." I could tell he was a mix of hurt and anger, and I couldn't blame him. I was mad at myself for knowing what happened in that memory was real, and that I had hurt the only person I cared for more than I could ever put in words. "I just, need some time to think."

"Axel I'm so sorry." I knew he heard me as he opened up a portal and stepped inside the darkness, but at first he didn't acknowledge me. With one leg inside the portal and the other still here, I held my breath and waited for him to say something.

I could tell he was still in a state of shock and he was still hurt, but I heard the words he quietly spoke before he stepped fully into the darkness and saw the way his expression flashed a change towards guilt. "I know, me too."

And then it was just Naminé and I, standing in silence. Naminé shifted awkwardly where she stood before she spoke up after a few quiet moments. "I've known Axel for a while too, just let him cool off. He's incredibly hot headed." Inwardly I smirked because of how much of an understatement that was, but I couldn't bring myself to physically smile. I hurt Axel, and I hated myself for that.

I turned to face Naminé, realizing the only way I could figure out this whole mess and why I left Axel was to remember the rest of that day, no matter what it took. I would go to the ends of the Earth and any other world and back again if it meant making everything right with Axel. "How do I remember everything else Naminé? I need to remember everything as quickly as possible."

Naminé's expression perked up a little as she put a hand on her cheek and drummed her index finger against it. "Well, I think that physical contact is the trigger for these really big memories, because when Axel grabbed your wrist you remembered. So, basically you'll have to find everyone, or most everyone, who you probably saw or talked to on that day and come in physical contact with them, and that should unearth those last few memories."

"Do you think I saw you that day?" I asked hurriedly, a bit rudely which I felt bad about, but I was in a hurry. Big time.

"I-I think so." She stuttered, her cheeks turned a little pink, then she shook it off and replied more confidently. "Yes, we were. You're memory's the way it is because of me, so we must have come in contact at come point."

I held out my hand straight up with my palm facing her. "Well, it's worth a shot." She smiled, the first real smile that actually made her look happy since I had seen her, and placed her hand against mind as we both closed our eyes.

_"What_ _happened to him_!"_ I didn't know whose voice it was. I was fading in and out of consciousness, and the girl's voice wasn't one I recognized. _

_"I'll explain it later, but you to do this now, before Xemnas finds out. He thinks Roxas left the Organization for good, he doesn't know he's here."_

_I recognized that voice. "Axel." I murmured faintly, and I felt a hand on my shoulder. _

_"Shh, just stay quiet," and for once I actually listened to him. I was just happy he was here with me and wasn't mad anymore. He had learned the truth, and the truth explained everything. But I couldn't think of what everything was right now; I was too tired, and my whole body ached in pain. _

_"Axel, what exactally is it that you all want me to do?" The girl's voice was shaky and uncertain, almost fearful. _

_"Give him new memories, so we can put him in a new world, a world that you create for him, for just a little bit, just until we figure everything out." I panicked for a moment. New memories? But, I liked the ones I had. I was about to open my mouth, to object, but then I remembered that it was Axel who had said the idea, and I relaxed. Axel would never to anything to hurt me. Never._

_"But Axel, you know how dangerous that could be! If I give him new memories, the new ones may replace the old ones permanently. He could forget about everything and everyone here forever!" I heard the panic and uncertainty in her voice, and I tensed up again. I tried to open my eyes but my eyelids weighted a hundred pounds and all the energy I had left was going towards listening to this conversation. _

_"Of course I know Naminé, but it's the only way! If we just dump him in this new world he'll find a way to come back, especially after all that's happened. He's just like that, you know? But, if we put new memories in him, just to cover up the ones he has from here, then he won't try and find a way to come back here because there won't know this place exists." _

_"Axel… I don't know. It's hard to create a fake world, even if he's the only real person in it."_

_"Naminé, that's exactally what this world is; a world that was never meant to exist, a world that's not real. It can be done, and the world you make with your magic will be on a smaller scale, like the size of a small town. If anyone can do it Naminé, it's you." _

_"I'll try, the best I can, if it's to help Roxas." I felt a soft smooth hand place itself on my forehead, and I opened my eyes the most I could. Through my eyelashes I saw a girl's face on one side and Axel standing off to the side with his arms crossed and a worried face. _

_"Don't worry Roxas, I'll be here when you wake up, I promise." Then I saw nothing but darkness. _

My eyes snapped open and I stumbled back a few steps from Naminé. Her eyes were still closed; she was still remembering things from after I blacked out.

I stood there, trying to absorb the memory. So, if that was true then…the life I lived before, the world where everything seemed so dull and normal, where Axel disappeared from my life, that was all a lie? An elaborate story made up by Axel and Naminé to keep me in one place?

So that was it. Everything in my life was a lie. How did I know that the things I was remembering weren't lies too? I felt my headache get worse, and in confusion and pain I dropped down to my knees holding my head in my hands.

"Roxas! Roxas are you all right?" I heard Naminé's startled voice and I looked up. When she met me eyes she stopped advancing towards me and looked away. "Roxas, I'm sorry, about everything that happened."

"So what? Sorry doesn't change anything." I tried to be angry; to be bitter, but it just came out sad and discouraged. "My mind has been filled with lies. My entire life, the one I thought I had lived, isn't even real; it's just a bunch of fake memories stuffed together so I wouldn't leave that place."

"Roxas, this is my fault. I can't believe I was so stupid to do this to you, to pretend that changing your memory wouldn't turn out so bad in the end, that you wouldn't be scared from it. I was wrong." She put her head in her hands and started to silently sob as I looked up at her from my knees, and I felt genuinely horrible.

"Naminé, this isn't all your fault, you were just doing what Axel asked you to do, and so you guys could apparently save me."

"But I should have come up with another way!" she shouted into her hands. "Messing with memories never ends well, I should have learned by now." Naminé wiped a tear out of her eye as she raised her head and sucked in a deep breath to calm herself. "I'll make everything right though, I promise. I don't know how but I will. You should go now though."

"Wait, why?"

"Go find Demyx or Xion, one of them had to have seen you that day. You need to figure out what happened that day, so everyone can remember and then we can fix this whole mess. Well, I can fix this whole mess." I felt my heart swell with sadness for her as Naminé tried to give me an encouraging smile. "Just go, I'll be all right."

"Naminé are you-"

"Yes, now go. If I see Axel I'll tell him where to look for you, now go." I gave her one parting smile before turning and running towards the door. I didn't stop to look back, but I didn't think I had to. Naminé had said everything would be all right, so it would be, right?

Right?


	11. Don't Trust Me

I would love to get some more reviews for this story. I love seeing how everyone thinks about it so far! So please review and enjoyAxel's POV

I realized - as I lay on my bed staring at my ceiling - that having an all white room sucked at taking your mind off of things. But then again, I was pretty certain nothing could take my mind off of the memories that had panned out across my mind as Roxas told me about what had happened between him and I on that day. I couldn't believe that such raw and painful memories and emotions could have been lurking inside me all along. I remembered what Roxas had said to me, and everything that had been going on when he had been in my room, but what really got to me was what I had felt as he was walking away, when he didn't know I was watching him.

_"How can you be so sure?" I paused and the words hung in the air. "Cause you know what, Roxas, if I had a heart, I'm pretty sure this would be what it feels like to have it broken." _

_ Every step he took away from me I felt my heart break into tinier and tinier pieces. Roxas, you are my life, my light in the darkness surrounding my life, my heart even though I'm not supposed to have one. You make me feel whole. How can you leave me now, since you know all of this and more? _

_Secretly do you hate me? Do you think I'm obnoxious and annoying? Roxas, for you I would give up the world, I would change every part of me, just to see you turn around and walk back into my arms. I just can't understand why you're leaving me, no matter how important of a reason you say you have. _

_I'll miss you- you know that. You know your leaving will tear me apart. _

_I feel the tears coming now, hot and heavy, flowing down my cheeks and landing at my feet. _

_Roxas, there will never be anyone like you ever again. If you leave me now, I'll never have a best friend ever again. As horrible as it may seem, Demyx and Xion mean nothing to me compared to you. You can say it's selfish, how much I want you to stay here with me, but it's true. You were, are, the rock in my life that kept me grounded, kept me sane even though we're both living in such a fucked up world where we don't even know if we exist! _

_Please don't leave me Roxas._

_Please don't leave me._

_Please don't leave._

_Please don't._

_Please…_

_I couldn't talk if I wanted to, the words get lost in my throat and all that comes out is this heart wrenching gurgling sob sound. Ironic, the heart wrenching part and all, since you leaving is taking my heart away. I shouldn't be feeling anything, but yet I am._

I wiped away the tears that were starting to fall from my eyes and slowly trail down my cheeks onto my pillow, but after a while I gave up. There were just too many tears and they weren't going to stop anytime soon.

Augh, this was so frustrating. I felt weak, crying, and I didn't know how I could. I was a Nobody; I didn't have the 'right' to have fucking emotions. Was it because I was with Roxas again? If that was the reason I could cry, then I didn't feel so weak, but I still felt that aching hollowness in the middle of my chest. Roxas was my heart, the one who made me feel like I had a heart, and even though I had him I still felt empty. Maybe it was because of what I had remembered. I didn't know everything about that day, but if it was this emotionally and mentally exhausting I didn't think I wanted to.

Roxas, what are you doing to me?

Roxas's POV

I wandered down unfamiliar hallways and up and down more stairways than I could count. Everything blurred together in flashes of whites and grays as I ran, looking for something, someone, or anyone who could help me. Every time I saw a flash of black or a hooded figure I hid the best I could in doorways or stairwells, hoping to get a flash of blonde or black hair, something that would show me where Xion or Demyx were. Of course, I longed for a flash of red hair, but Axel needed time to figure out his own memories, just like I had to. Finally, after I was pretty sure I had passed the same white hallway for the thirteenth time, I heard it. Music, floating gently down the hallway. It almost sounded like a guitar being played…

No! It was a sitar -or at least that's what Demyx called it- which meant he was nearby. Stumbling over my own feet I back tracked down the hallway, following the melody until I was positive it was coming from behind the door in front of me.

I peeked in through the half opened door and snuck in quietly as Demyx was too absorbed in his music to notice me. After the last cord was quietly strummed and Demyx seemed to float back to reality I cleared my throat, making him nearly fall off the bed in surprise.

"Geez man ever heard of knocking!" He sat on his bed clutching at his chest with a smirk playing on his lips.

"Sorry, you were just so into your music, I didn't want to interrupt you. But since you're done, I really need to talk to you." I stood by the door, my mind trying to figure out a way to tell Demyx everything that's been happening. "It's about that day, the one no one can remember. The day I tried to leave…" My voice trailed off as I saw Demyx's expression change. It was the same look he had been doing since I got back to the castle, the guilty look where he wouldn't meet my gaze. I had a sinking feeling Demyx remembered more than he was letting on. "Naminé told me I have to see everyone I came in contact with that day, and I have to come in physical contact with them. Apparently it helps to speed up my remembering." I walked over towards Demyx, standing awkwardly in front of him with my hand outstretched towards him, palm facing out. "So, uh, yeah." When Demyx finally looked up I saw the guilt flooding his expression, and out of instinct I pulled my hand away. "D-Demyx, what's wrong?"

We remained in silence for a moment before Demyx spoke up.

"Roxas, believe me, I never wanted what happened to happen; it just…happened. When you left, Axel was just so, he was…everything was just so messed up. You'll see." He muttered meekly at the end as he reached out and took hold of my hand.

"_Roxas you're killing him! If you really leave, Axel'll be so fucked up he won't know up from down, and if he tries to go find you he'll get himself killed! I don't want to lose either of you, but especially not both of you! You're my best friends!" I flinched away as Demyx screamed at me, but there was nothing I could to but wait till he was done and then just get past him. I was so close to freedom, but more of my friends wouldn't let me through. I felt like if they were really my friends, they'd let me go because it was what I had to do, but what was I thinking? We're all Nobodies; we can't truly understand one another. _

_Demyx had finished yelling and was standing a few feet away from me, panting and glaring from his rant. "I'm sorry Demyx, but I have to do this." His eyes widened but the glare remained, even intensified more. If looks could kill…_

"_Don't apologize to me. Empty apologies are the worst. Even if you're not lying about being sorry, I'm not the one you need to apologize to." I felt a tightening in my chest the more I thought about Axel and how much I was hurting him, but my blank and indifferent expression didn't falter. I couldn't let Demyx know how weak and vulnerable I was on the inside, or I would never work up the courage to leave ever again. Haughtily I pushed past the blonde and towards the door leading to my freedom. _

"_Goodbye, Demyx." I was so close, ten steps away._

_Nine._

_Eight._

_Seven. _

_Six._

_Five._

_Four._

_Three._

_Two- _

_The breathe was knocked out of me as I felt a pillar of water hit my back with the force of a stampeding bull, slamming me to the wall off to the side of the door. I had been so close; who would have known Demyx of all people would fight with me. I stood there trying to get my breathing back to normal before spinning around, my water hair whipping out of my eyes, which were fixed on Demyx with a glare._

"_Demyx cut the crap. Let me leave." _

"_No." Demyx's normal personality was gone and in its place was the personality of, well, a real Nobody. No true emotions except the drive to stop me from leaving. He always got like this when he was fighting someone and it took all of his concentration and power. We, Axel and I, used to always joke he was bi-polar, but now it didn't seem quite so funny. _

_Demyx's fingers flew over the neck of his sitar in a blur, the melody sad and angry. I felt cold metal in both of my hands as my keyblades appeared, and I waited for his next attack. I knew I could beat Demyx, easily, but it was weird fighting one of your best friends who you've known for years. But I knew Demyx wasn't holding back as I felt another pillar of water hit me, from three different sides, so I couldn't hold back either. _

_As Demyx called out his water clones, which were still so weak no matter how much he practiced them, I knew I had my opening. I bolted forward slicing through clone after clone, my entire body becoming thoroughly soaked, until I was at Demyx. I raised both keyblades above my head in an X before slashing down at Demyx with a powerful blow. However, I closed my eyes just as the blow was about to be delivered. I couldn't watch myself inflict pain on my friend, no matter what the situation was like. _

_-Clank- _

_What the hell? My eyes snapped open to see the object my keyblades had collided with was another keyblade. _

"_Damn it Xion stay out of this!" I growled as I through my weight into the keyblades and pushed myself so I slide a few feet away. "This isn't your fight!" _

"_But you're both my friends! I'm not going to just sit back and watch you kill each other!" I was surprised for a moment._

"_I wasn't going to kill Demyx." I muttered as I tightened my grip on both metal handles. "I just need to get out of here. I'll fight both of you if that's what it takes! I just need to leave!" Augh, this was so frustrating. "Why can't anyone just leave me to my own fate? Why did everyone have to involve themselves in my problems! Just forget about me!" As I stood glaring at Demyx and Xion, I felt someone behind me and I saw Xion's eyes leave me and look above me. Oh great, someone else. But, before I could turn around, I heard something whispered and hot breath fan out across my ear. _

"_Roxas, I could never forget about you. Got it memorized?" _

_I felt something hard and metal hit the side of my head and for a moment all I could register was pain. Then everything went black._

"_What happened to him?" I didn't know whose voice it was. I was fading in and out of consciousness, and the girl's voice wasn't one I recognized. _

"I'll explain it later, but you have to do this now, before Xemnas finds out. He thinks Roxas left the Organization for good, he doesn't know he's here."

_ I recognized that voice. "Axel." _

I stepped away from Demyx because I already knew the rest. I didn't know what to think, what to feel. It had been Axel who had finally stopped me from leaving. Well, in a way it had been Xion and Demyx too, but ultimately Axel.

Why had I been so determined to leave was the biggest question I had though. What made me so compelled to want to fight my friends?

"I'm sorry, Roxas." Demyx looked at me, waiting for my reaction.

"Why are you sorry? I'm the one who was willing to hurt you so I could leave."

"Yeah, but I started the fight. I just, I wanted you to stay so bad, for Xion, and me and for Axel, and I never thought about you and what you needed to do. If I had let you leave, everything that's about to happen, it wouldn't be…"

"What do you mean?" I was confused. What was about to happen?

"I-I can't say anything else, just go find Axel. I think you two should probably talk about, things…" I hesitated, wondering what secret Demyx was harboring, but I finally relented and made my way to the door.

"Good luck, Roxas."

"Thanks, Demyx." Then I was gone, running down hallway after hallway, trying to find my redhead and fix everything that was happening. I was confused and there were so many memories jammed into my head that it was pounding and hurting like crazy, but I didn't even care.

I had to find him. I had to find Axel.

I had to make everything all right.

I just had to.


End file.
